Codependency and Christian Leadership
Hey Friends,
As you probably know by now insecurity is rampant in the Church of Jesus Christ. Insecurity breeds a need to please people. Needing to be needed by people is codependency. Codependency will cripple a Church and it’s leadership. One of the things a leader has to do is make the hard calls! If you are codependent you will never make the hard call because people will always disagree with the decision.
So let me ask you, are you codependent on your Church or group? If you are now or ever want to be in leadership you must mature beyond the need for the approval of the crowd. As a matter of fact you actually play for an audience of One. That is the One that died for you and me. He is the Head of His Church and He is the One we want to make smile every day.
I have watched codependency kill churches and leaders. As a leader it is not in our ability to please everyone because they want different things. Some scream for evangelism, others for discipleship, others for exegetical preaching, and others for social justice. The list grows longer daily.
A motto I embraced many years ago is, “I can’t lead people if I need people.” As the leader we must be faithful to the vision of the organization. There are times leaders are forced to make unpopular decisions and if we are codependent we will never make them. As leaders we must be willing to do things that others are unwilling to do.
As leaders in the Kingdom of God we must be willing to take a risk! It is called moving out by faith. Most people do not want to take this road, but as leaders it is our job to lead them there. We must take them where God wants and not necessarily where they want. This is the calling of the leader.
Do you need to be needed? Just a question.
Love ya
Pastor Chris
12 Comments
“Consensus is built on the experience of Christian community. It requires strong relationships able to tolerate struggling through issues together. It requires mutual love and respect to hear each other when there is disagreement. Consensus also requires a commitment to know and understand other people more than a desire to convince or railroad them. Consensus, as a way to make decisions in the church, is not easier, just better. To paraphrase Winston Churchill, consensus is the worst form of decision-making in the church, except for all the others. Consensus is not strong on efficiency, if by that we mean ease and speed. It can take a long time to work through issues, which can become quite frustrating. Consensus is strong on unity, communication, openness to the Spirit’s leading, and responsible participation in the body. In achieving those values, consensus is efficient. Deciding by consensus, then, simply requires belief that unity, love, communication, and participation are more important in the Christian scheme than quick, easy decisions. It requires the understanding that, ultimately, the process is as important as the outcome. How we treat each other as we make decisions together is as important as what we actually decide.” – Christian Smith
Ron,
I don’t agree with the consensus model for Christian leadership. I agree that a leader should not try to lead in isolation. Accountability, counsel, outside rebuke, and knowing the state (& opinions) of the body are important. However, leaders in the Bible (Moses, Joshua, Paul, etc.) did not lead by consensus. In theory, consensus building should work in Christianity (one spirit should lead everyone in the body). The theory breaks down in practice, because the body can be out of step with the spirit for a given decision.
Andy.
Andy,
Please give me an example of Paul making a decision for the body of Christ by himself. After Pentecost, the body was lead by one Spirit – no individual made decisions for the Church. The Old Testament leadership model is no longer valid because the people did not have the Spirit within them to lead them to the same consensus. The model you are supporting is the corporate model in the world today. It is an organization, but the body of Christ (the Church) is an organism. Maybe there is a lack of faith when we do not believe that Christ can lead His own body.
Freat question Ron, Paul told Timothy to appoint the elders in the Churches. It was the apostles that made doctrinal decisions for the Church at large. There are alot of mofels to follow. Democracy wasen’t invented till after the New Testment was written. I like Elders or a group of leaders. Voting didn’t happen in the New Testament. Every Soutern BBaptist get to experience apx. 3 church splits. Why voting, it tends to divide and is not the best way to determine the will of God.
Just a thought.
Ron, sorry forgot your last comment. Jesus does lead His Church and He uses the undershepherds He calls. he has always used people in advancing His Kingdom. It is sad how we have lost faith in pastors to lead today. Even more sad it that it is the fault of the pastors. No question though, the Lord called His pastors to lead His Church and not the members.
hope this helps
Ron, Guess I didn’t realize this was a discussion. I did not look down far enough. The Apostle Paul never tried to build a consensus. Biblically this is a fact, pragmatically if the pastor does not get a consensus it really dosen’t matter if he can make the calls, no nobody is going to follow him. Remember the Scritpure is our standard not society.
Interesting discussion…i have missed this blog!
My question:
Is this thought process even applicable to the times? I noticed comments concerning Moses, Joshua, and Paul…and comparing them to the leadership of today’s church model?…Church as we see it today looks radically different and is structured different as well.
I think it is hard to compare the two…
My question is if integrity is compromised in leadership, for example, if a pastor has an affair, confesses to the body and the elders make the decision to keep him in as pastor…what should happen? We have experienced a heartbreak with a situation…confusion, and fighting. Not a church split, but it was as if a grenade went off and the body scattered everywhere. It’s been horrific. While we know that God’s grace is sufficient and His mercy never fails…it has been difficult. People have made arguments about “forgiveness” and argued about the process of restoration…and also the length of time for restoration. All elders were in support of the pastor to continue to preach and minister. The leaders also made members feel ashamed if they wanted to ask questions or needed time to think and heal. I do NOT think people (members)should be allowed to vote on things like that, but what if the elders aren’t making good decisions? I also believe that God is able to use those again who have fallen. My husband and I have seen ministers fall before but never seen this kind of situation where the minister and his wife did not take time off to let their marriage heal (and all the Elders were in agreement). This church has went from about 600 to about 60 or 70 on Sunday morning. It’s sad and heartbreaking.
Melissa, So sorry to hear the story. It is stories like this that pastors are not able to lead. I Tim. 3 state the Elder is to be above reproach. If a pastor falls into sexual sin he no loger is above reproach and is Biblically disqualified to pastor that Church. He can be forgiven restored and able to do ministry, but not there. How could he ever preach on faithfulness with authority. This is my persoal opinion, that and 4.50$ will get you a cup of coffee at Starbucks. hope this helps.
FPC is blessed to have you as our pastor, thanks for following God’s plan and making the sometimes tough decisions. Praying for you
Thank you and it does help. FP has been a healing place for our family over the past few months and it has especially helped my 12 year old. Blessings!
Always Blessed by all the thoughts.